Help

Help.

You know those times when your will does not line up with God’s?

You know those times when you don’t want to submit your plans to Him because you know what would happen if you did?

You know those times when you know you should ask God about it but just don’t want to?

Here’s a tip, cry out to Him with just one little word. H-E-L-P!

While you may not be able to fully submit your desires at that moment, crying out “Help!” to God still involves Him in the equation.

Crying out “Help!” is a step in the right direction.

Crying out “Help!” is saying I am weak, I don’t know what is best, and that is about all I can bring myself to say right now.

If you give God the right to take control of the situation He will set you in the right direction.

Granted, God is not going to do all the work, but He will help you align your desires with His.

Psalm 3:4 To the Lord I cry aloud, and He answers me from His holy hill.

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

-Brandon Heath

Must remind myself...

I
do
not
need
to
settle
for
subpar.

I want someone to KNOW they are in love with me.

Why my best friend rocks.

Me: "I found out another semi friend got engaged who is my age...I just ate a whole box of Peeps as a result."

Brett: "People need to stop getting married, you will get fat."

Since when I started growing up I do not know.

Half of my friends are getting married.

My high school work money is running out.

I’m thinking about internships.

I’m trying to set up meetings to shadow people for my future job.

I’m trying to figure out how I am going to support myself in two years.

My parents aren’t paying for everything anymore.

My mom is speaking of “retirement.”

I have to figure out how to pay for grad school all on my own and work.

I’m trying to figure out how to look good for my grad school application.

I no longer consider myself smart in school.

My dad called me an adult yesterday for the first time.

In less than two months I will no longer be a teenager.

Finding a home church where I live has become a priority.

Becoming a mentor to younger students in the church has become an interest to me.

And my renewal for my driver’s license came in the mail yesterday.

Sheesh, can I please just go back to my Junior year of high school? That year was so much fun.

Lord, not what I will, but what YOU will.

Plans

I don’t have time to write. I should be working on the mounds of homework I have while waiting for me just sitting here, but I can’t help get these thoughts out of my head. I wish to write on and on and make it pretty, but time just won’t allow.

I went to a wedding yesterday for one of my really close girl friends. It was a long trip to get there, about 400 miles out there, 400 miles back. It can really give a girl some time to think. There were many things so special about this wedding I could go on an on about, but one of the main things that was so special and evident was that God was the center of it all. While hearing the groom’s father speak about how they had been praying for a wife for their son and praying that she would perfectly compliment his son I got choked up.

This is what I want. This is what I have been wanting and have been praying for. But seeing it actually happen to another couple before my very own eyes has made it seem even more real that it can happen. Waiting for God’s best is worth it. Maybe this couple didn’t have to wait as long as I do. But that is okay. I want God’s best, why? Why not? I’d rather try and wait patiently and have God form His man for me than date the wrong one. I do not deserve to have a man who is wishy-washy about his love for me. I deserve to have a man who knows he wants me. I do not deserve someone subpar who isn’t sure of what he wants. Now it may take days, weeks, months, years till my husband is revealed to me…and who knows God may change my heart and I won’t ever get married…but what I do know is that God has an awesome plan for me. Whenever I doubt it all I have to do is look back on all the times I thought I was lost…..

Brother’s broken marriage brought me to psychology.

Uncertainness led me to Cal Baptist.

Cal Baptist led me to Hannah and Brittany.

Jeffrey brought me broken back to Jesus.

Cal Baptist led me home.

Home led me to a close family friend.

Family friend led me to discovering more things about myself.

Home led me to grow closer with Aurora and Janelle.

Dad’s sicknesses have led me to a appreciating him for who he is.

Psychology led me to Biola.

Biola led me to my best friend Brett.

Biola led me to solidify my major in psychology.

Biola led me to….well I could go on an on. (haha)

Broken friendships have led me to remembering Jesus is the only one we are to have our foundation in.

Singleness has led me to being able to be there for my family tremendously.

There has been several times I have felt lost…but then I look back and see God has done a great work in me and will continue to do a great work in me.

If I marry…I’m waiting for you hun. I’m trying to be patient. I’m trying to not look too hard. And when I do get lonely…just know, I’m praying for you too to be patient.

I want to sing and mean every word...

This week at BU is Mission’s Conference. The classes are cancelled for a couple days to go to chapel like conferences and focus on God’s call for our lives. A band called The City Harmonic is our guest band for the conference and I just heard them play live tonight. One of the lyrics to a song they played touched me deeply. So often we just sing worship songs as a ritual and we like to say we mean them, but do we really? Do we walk out of the church changed, do our actions follow? I absolutely love these lyrics. I want Jesus to be my all. I want Jesus to be all that I want. I don’t want to get caught up in wanting an awesome career. I don’t want to get caught up in finding a husband. I don’t want to get caught up in trying to find girlfriends. I don’t want to get caught up in getting the best body…I want Jesus to be my want. So often that doesn’t happen. I want to be every word. I don’t want to just sing it; I want to be it. I want the want of Jesus to be my desire. I want my life to show it. I don’t want to just go about speaking words that I love Jesus, that I go to a Christian University, that I’m minoring in Bible, I want my actions to speak for themselves. I guess what I am trying to say in this sloppy post is that, I really adore how this song speaks of desiring God. I want Him to be my desire. It doesn’t say You are my desire, but I want Him to be my full desire. Sometimes we just need to ask God to work in our lives so He becomes that to us…admitting that sometimes He isn’t our desire and that we crave for Him to become our desire. It’s similar to crying out “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24) Yeah, this post is written poorly and may not make sense to all, but it makes sense to me. Haha.


May my life speak louder than words
and what I’m saying
is “Jesus, I’m sure You’re what I want”
Yeah, that’s what I want

These words ain’t cheap, no, they bleed on the page.
I see what I’ve been and that needs to change
and that’s what I want
yeah, You’re what I want
Ha – la – la – lelujah, yeah
Hallelu
Ha – la – la – lelujah, oh yeah
What I want is You

I want to sing – sing and mean every word
Cause what I’m singing is “Joy to the world”
And that’s what I want, yeah,
That’s what I want

So go on sing, sing, all of heaven and earth
But don’t just sing – be – and be every word
That’s what I want, yeah,
That’s what I want

Ha – la – la – lelujah, yeah
Hallelu
Ha – la – la – lelujah, oh yeah
What I want is You

(Hallelujuah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)

Ha – la – la – lelujah, Hallelu
What I want is You.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hax9bJAkHmU