Second Day!

It’s the second day and I’m still going strong! Currently I’m listening to Step Up the movie that some people are watching in the lobby. If I knew these people I would stand up and start dancing, but I don’t so I probably should just sit here and continue typing. Haha. Today was awesome. The day started out having breakfast in the caf with one of my roomies, Lindsey. I went for the bagel, and my bagel ended up getting stuck in the slicer, so embarrassing! Then we went to the meeting in the gym and the SOS groups put on an amazing skit! Seriously I was busting up laughing the whole time! They put soo many different references in it and fairly long as well. From the old spice guy, to Kanye West cutting off Taylor, to Glee, to Mean Girls, to double rainbow, to Alan from the Hangover, to the Sandlot, and finishing it up with Inception was amazing!

Meeting with our SOS group was really cool. I have an awesome leader and some awesome transfer students in our group. It’s nice to finally meet some more transfer students since I mainly am meeting freshman. We played a game and it was awesome to bond with some other transfers.

Tonight proved to be very different. We had a communion service after the bbq at Biola. My brother, nephew, Mom and Dad were all there and it was an intimate moment. It was crazy emotional though, which was really weird. But there was such a sense of peace in the moment. I know it touched all of us, and we were all crying and praying. Crazy! The only time we ever pray together is over the food. Somehow I just know Biola is the right decision for me. Anyways, guess I will wrap this up, so dead tired!

Biola Move In Day!

So it finally came…move in day! I never thought about a little over a year ago I would be moving into Biola. Now here I am sitting writing this in my cozy room in Hope sitting chatting with my two roomies, while listening to the boys play basketball outside. I am happy to say, I feel perfectly content. You know how when something just feels right, you know? Biola feels like a second home. Everything just feels natural here. So far just today I have seen God’s love in people all over this campus. Somehow for being someone so shy in group settings with people I don’t know I’m finding the strength to go up and introduce myself. Maybe it could be that I’m not a freshman and this isn’t the first time I’ve been off alone. It also could be that I know in order to have the best social experience and meet new people, you have to put yourself out there. Whatever the case, I’ve tried to make myself a social butterfly today. I have, just today, met some cool girls on my hall, met my twin on the second floor, hung out at the bookstore and socialized, and went to some ice cream social type thing. I’m going around looking for cool people to meet and soaking it in while I can. Although, I know things will be a little bit different once classes start, and I begin to get homesick for my own room and bed. I also know there will be certain times where I will be sitting alone in a class, eating a couple meals by myself, but that time alone is a good refresher too. I ultimately believe that Biola is the place for me, but we shall see. So far, life is great and I couldn’t be more excited about going to college!

GOD IS INTIMATE.

So you wanna know?

Since I still have not done a follow up to my six months of no dating that I completed a little while ago, I decided to turn an answer to a formspring.com question into a blog.

Someone asked me:

Are you truly happy without guys? It seems like your trying to be positive, but you really miss a man in your life.


Here is my response:

I believe God put in all of us the desire for companionship, and I think I will always have this desire, whether I'm meant to marry or not. So am I fully satisfied in this sense? No. I'd much rather be in a God centered relationship with a man that loves the Lord, has good qualities, and the relationship is potentially headed for marriage in the future.

Do I get lonely sometimes without a relationship? Absolutely, especially since I am back in the desert feeling like I have few friends. Do I try to find my joy in Jesus and remember only He can make me complete? Yes. Do I try to be happy without a man? Yep. Does it work all the time? Nope, but my life isn't perfect.

I may seem like I focus on the opposite sex way too much, and maybe that's true. But you also have to realize why I do:

1. My heart has been badly broken. Twice, in the past 9 months. This doesn't just go away. I've been broken. One by a guy I truly was falling in love with and thought the relationship might one day end in marriage. The other by a guy I always thought the most of and was smitten with for a long time. This guy proceeded to use this to his advantage, got my hopes up, and then broke them down.

So do I have trust issues? Yes. Does this dominate my thoughts too often? Perhaps. I'm still dealing with both of these heartbreaks and as much as I'd like it to magically go away, that's not always the case.

2. I took the time out for six months to abstain from dating. You know how when you are addicted to something and then it's taken away, that's what your thoughts tend to go towards? Same with this. Was I addicted, I wouldn't say so, but when it's taken away, you tend to focus on it.

3. I believe my singleness is a gift right now, to better myself, to prepare myself for my future husband, and to grow closer to Christ. So I'm reading books on this. It's what I think about.

4. I'm young, single, and stupid guys that don't have their priorities straight tend to approach me. This frustrates me. Am I out deliberately looking for a guy? No. But do you hear about these guys? Yes, because I get frustrated with these guys and feel as if the right guy is taking forever. Yes, yes I know I am impatient sometimes and I'm working on it.

5. My ultimate dream goal, God willing, is to one day be a marriage counselor. So do I contemplate on marriages? Yes. Do I read up on tips for a successful marriage? Yes. Do I talk about this and share links and quotes? You bet. I don't have a single healthy marriage to look up to in this family, so I want to make sure I prepare myself to have the best. Am I too young for this? It's a matter of opinion. I know I won't be a marriage counselor until I have many years of experience in my own, but it's never too early to learn about God centered marriages and what works and what doesn't. So when you are quick to judge me on contemplating on marriage too soon, I'm not just thinking about myself, I'm thinking about my future career. Could this goal change in a couple years? Perhaps, but for the past couple years it's what I've felt like I'm called to do.

Sweetheart...

Dear Sweetheart,

For many years I sought to find my most perfect mate, but all that ever resulted from my search were shattered dreams, a broken heart and what seemed to be an endless wait. I wanted to find God’s very best, but first He had to teach me that in His loving hands, I must solely rest.

So one evening I prayed, “God, just as you put Adam to sleep until the perfect one for him, he was ready to meet; so put me and my desires to sleep until I too am ready to know the one you have chosen for me.”

From that time forward God gave me a peace. And although others came into my life God protected my heart and spared me from more strife. Then when God knew that in His hands I had placed my heart, He brought you into my life and I was history from the start.

My dear friends who know me well perhaps see tomorrow as a miraculous day. For they have known me and all my picky ways. Once while in the dorm, A.M. came into my room and asked me just exactly what I was looking for in a man. I ran to my diary and pulled out a list of 30 qualities I was looking for and on which I would insist.

As I read each trait one by one, Dear A.M. looked at me, she was very stunned. After pondering the list she said with a nod, “ Well Cindy, looks like you’ll have to marry God.” Well, God you are not, but my Heaven on earth you are. God heard my prayers and answered them in the most perfect way with you.

I have no unanswered questions, no doubts, no hesitations, no reservations.

You are my Prince Charming, my knight in shining armor, my gift from the sea, my gift from God.”

~Cindy Jordan Feldewerth


Ladies, it can happen! It's happened with numerous women. We just have to be patient and wait upon the Lord. I know it's hard, I struggle with it daily. But we have to remember:

His timing, not ours.

His arrangement, not ours.

His planning, not ours.

What does your Prince Charming look like to you?

Don't settle for less than God's best.

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."
~Psalm 37:4

Your Prince Charming is worth the wait.

God is so good! I just want to scream it from the mountain tops! It's not even anything majorly in particular, just the way He works in my life is amazing!

Shout it!

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from Heaven above
With wisdom power and love
our God is an awesome God!

"I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait"