Three Dollars

As I pulled out onto Bear Valley Road after just having a warm cup of the seasonal Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha from Starbucks my thoughts turned to the bumpy, uneven slow lane. It was then I glanced over and saw a middle aged woman holding a cardboard sign on the side of the road explaining she had been laid off and had two kids. I thought maybe I should give her some money, but she was in a difficult spot to reach and traffic was moving so I decided not to attempt. It was then it hit me. No, I had to get to this woman. I looked in my review mirror and noticed her walking back to her pick up truck and I kept praying she would stay put till I could get to her. I then was able to get off Bear Valley, park at a gas station, and run over to her truck. She was sitting there with her two young boys and opened up the truck door as I ran over. I proceeded to hand her the three dollars. Now I have given homeless people money, and I have given them food. Normally I like to do food since you never know what they are going to do with it, but something had pulled at my heartstrings to give her the money. As I gave her the few dollars I have never seen such a grateful face before in my life. I began to say God bless to her and she reached out to give me a hug. I told her God would provide and she said I know He is so faithful. I proceeded to tell her I would be praying for her and she looked overwhelmed. Now I don’t know what was going through her mind as she was walking back to her truck, if many people had stopped, if she ended up getting a lot of money, or if she was extremely disappointed. I don’t know how much money she needed and I don’t know if the three dollars even compared to maybe a hundred dollar bill someone may have given her, but what I do know is that I believe she saw a glimpse of hope and that someone cared to turn around just to get to her. Looking back, since I was in no hurry, I wish I had prayed with the woman. I wish I had given more. I wish I had asked if I could buy her and her boys some lunch. I wish I had gotten to know her. I’m normally very wary of strangers, especially men and rightfully so, but there was something about this woman that made me attached. I don’t know exactly if there is a huge point to this story, except for if you can bless another person then do so. What I do know is that driving by she was just a common woman standing on the side of the road with a sign, but when I took the time to get to her I have never seen such a beautiful, genuine sight of her face lighting up with gratitude.

Weather

Earlier this evening I had, had it. As I threw my phone, I looked outside the window. I saw bits and pieces of the sky lit up in different colors, but I knew there was more to see and I had to see it. I grabbed my jacket and my room key and proceeded to literally run to find it. I saw it out the window as I came to the stairs entrance. This was not good enough. I had to, I desired to, see this sunset for all its worth. I ran down the stairs, out of Hope, then up the stairs behind Hope to see it for its full-blown glory. As I saw it, I was blown away. With tears streaming down my face, I knew God had given me that sunset. He knew the desires of my heart. He knew last night I longed to go home and experience the deserts amazing sunsets. Here, in La Mirada, he gave me a glorious warm, sunny day, with a slight breeze. This breeze reminded me I was alive, and that even though I couldn’t see God, I can still feel Him. This is what God desires, to see His works and crave to see more. He desires us to run just to get a glimpse more of Him. He desires us to stand in awe of His beauty. I wish that I could say that the sunset changed the rest of this night, and made the pain go away because it didn’t. What the sunset did was remind me I am alive, and that He is there through the pain. God doesn’t promise He will suddenly take all the pain away and relieve the issues in our lives. God does promise He is there amidst our despair. (I took a picture, but my stupid phone won’t send it to my computer)

Tonight.

Tonight was Hope's dorm building Christmas party. I enjoyed getting to talk to some girls on my hall and drink yummy Christmas named drinks. But where my thoughts really are tonight is home. I guess it's cause I just spent break at home and am still in break mode, but I really wish Christmas break started now. I would love to be curled up in my snowman blanket in front of the fire cuddling with my mom. I would love be warm and toasty without the stress of school. Somehow, someway I know I will make it to Christmas break, but it seems so far. I am so stressed with my grades, if I will even pass all my classes, complete my online class, my schedule will somehow work out, I will even finish all my assignments, and get in enough chapels. This stress is taking a toll on me and I wish I could say I had one full day on Thanksgiving break to relax, but that didn't even happen. I'm getting slower, my school work is getting crappier, things are taking more effort and twice as long. I'm emotionally drained. It's definitely going to have to be strength from God for me to make it.